Every time my husband goes on work travel, he packs the kitchen elves. When we were married, these midnight elves came to live with us. We never see them, but I know they are there when I awaken to a clean kitchen. I keep telling my husband to leave them here when he travels, but I guess he wants them to clean up after him in his kitchenette. Seems so unfair.
The other evening, it was about 8 p.m. and I was standing at the corner of our L-shaped downstairs. I looked one way, and then the other, confused. It was all clean. I had been busy at home all day, with no time to straighten up. I even said out loud, "Why is this place clean?"
The children were watching television, ignoring my muttering. Then I realized that they were gone most of the day with friends. I always had a theory that it was not me messing things up; this proved it. I also need to keep reminding myself that as a homeschooling family, we are all here 24/7. I will take all the excuses handed to me.
Some may say this is a parenting issue and not a homemaking issue. They are probably right. The energy drained suffering chaos is far more exhausting than the energy expended causing order. But by the time I notice that someone left a mess in the kitchen, it is such a massive upheaval that my children both run screaming, or collapse on the sofa with a stomachache, or suddenly have to practice piano. But what great pianists they are becoming.
I'm working on it; my daughter is the designated Dishwasher Unloader. She gets that from her dad. I'm working on getting her to fill it too. But it is difficult with the sissy two-finger method, as if the refried bean pot is soaking in acid instead of muck. "If you had just rinsed it to begin with..."
My son is a great cook. A cleaner he is not. It is simple detective work to see what transpired in the kitchen after he leaves. Cupboards left open, drawers ajar, food on the counter, pots on the stove. You could write the recipe from it. A parent coach might suggest a consequence such as, "You are not allowed to use the kitchen until you learn to clean up after yourself." But you think I'm going to give up the prepared dinner? I'll take the mess for a homecooked meal, even if it is just for him. One less person whining for food. I am teaching him to be self-reliant. And my mother guilt is assuaged even further when I think of what a great cook he is becoming.
I think back to my own childhood. Until we were teenagers, we had to ask for everything we touched in the kitchen. We had a hot dinner every night. There was always food in the cabinets. And you can be sure that the kitchen elves never shirked their duty.
I recently lamented to my neighbor about my kitchen after she tried to wash her hands over the pancake bowl and salmon pan that were both "soaking." I told her that my mother always had us clean everything up after ourselves. I was still rebelling. My neighbor's response was, "The pendulum swings one way and then the other." Cool. If that is true, then the pendulum will swing back, and I am teaching my children to be clean adults. Job well done.
I can hear my son's future wife telling her mother, "Oh, Mama, Sean is so wonderful. He cooks and doesn't expect me to. He serenades me on the piano. And boy, is he a clean freak." Way I see it, I'm looking pretty good.